Until She Smiles
by Agent Ilse Stiefel-Getzug
Summary: Pre-SA. Moritz notices something's wrong with Ilse and tries to do everything to bring back the Ilse he knew. Takes place a week before Moritz finds out Ilse left.


**So I finally came up with another SA story (Moritz and Ilse, of course)! I was going to upload another one that I have, but I've hit a major writer's block with that story. This one is not as happy and more angsty, which I am not used to writing, so forgive me! This also very loosely ties in with Through the Darkness Comes the Laughter.**

**Disclaimer: Spring Awakening...not mine :(**

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Moritz kicked a rock that was by the bridge. Melchior had taken the raft out and him, Moritz, Georg and Otto were playing by the river. They had left long ago, leaving Moritz who chose to stay behind for a bit. He had a lot on his mind; his parents, his schoolwork, his friends, but most importantly, Ilse.

Something had changed in her. She was no longer the happy, carefree spirit she once was. Wendla, Martha and the other girls had failed to cheer her up and bring her out of her slump. Even Moritz never saw that side of Ilse anymore. He knew something happened, but no matter how much Moritz tried on the very few days he would see her, Ilse wouldn't say a word about it. She would always say she was fine and that she had just been a little sick, tired, or just not in the mood to play. Everyone tried to bring out the Ilse they knew and loved, but to no avail.

Moritz sighed and sat down on the edge of the river, taking off his shoes and socks so he could dip his feet in. Everything had been going great. Ilse was doing well in school (even if they didn't go to the same school anymore; he knew how Ilse was doing through Wendla). She was happy, active and still that untroubled girl. That was up until a month ago.

_Moritz had waited for Ilse at their wigwam on Tuesday, as they would always meet. _

She'll show up_, Moritz thought to himself. He organized the toys in his wigwam ready to play. All Ilse had to do was show up. _

_So he waited...and waited...and waited._

_He didn't know how long he was waiting until his Mama came to the wigwam and found Moritz sitting, absentmindedly playing with his toy sword._

"_Moritz, where's Ilse?" asked Frau Stiefel. "What have you been doing this entire time?"_

_Moritz simply shrugged. "Waiting for Ilse. I don't know where she is, but she'll show up."_

_Frau Stiefel seemed worried. "How long have you been waiting?" Moritz shrugged at this answer, too. "Well, how much longer are you going to be waiting? Your father and I already finished dinner."_

_Moritz was shocked at this answer. It wasn't like Ilse to miss out on their pirate days._

"_Just a few more minutes, Mama," said Moritz, afraid Ilse was going to come and miss him._

_Frau Stiefel sighed. "Fine, ten more minutes, but then come for dinner. I'll come get you if you forget."_

_Moritz nodded, positive Ilse was going to show up. He knew she loved playing pirates._

_Ten minutes had passed with no sign of Ilse. Moritz sighed and put down his sword as his Mama came to get him._

"_Moritz, it's time for your dinner," she said. Moritz nodded, sad Ilse didn't show up. Before he left, he wrote a note in the ground with a stick._

Ilse,

Where were you? I waited for you for a while before Mama came to get me so I could have dinner. Don't worry, we'll always have another day to play pirates and leave time for it. Pirate's honour, right? I hope you're feeling okay, and I'll let you have first pick next time we play.

Your fellow shipmate, Moritz

_Moritz took one last look at his note in the ground. He hoped it was enough._

There had been another repeat like that the week after, Moritz's note in the ground looking untouched. Moritz decided to go to Ilse's house to see what happened to her. Her Papa came to the door, looking angry. He simply said that Ilse wasn't feeling well then slammed the door in Moritz's face.

He was determined to find out what happened to Ilse. He missed his fellow pirate, his best friend. He wanted to cheer her up and bring her out of the funk she was in. He knew he wasn't the only one who missed the old Ilse.

Last Tuesday, Ilse managed to make it to the wigwam. She asked that they didn't play, though. Moritz could tell she just needed a friend at that moment. He hugged her and asked her to tell him what was wrong. She wasn't even trying to hide the fact that she wasn't okay. She just shook her head and said, "It's not something you can fix." Moritz remembered their strange conversation, though, that day in the wigwam.

"_Moritz...would you miss me if I left?" Ilse asked._

"_Of course, Ilse!" said Moritz, shocked she would ask something like that. "I missed you the days you weren't here," he paused. "I miss the Ilse you used to be."_

_She looked at him with a look so full of grief. "I know. But promise me that you won't forget this. Promise me that you won't forget how close we are."_

"_And we'll still be close," said Moritz. "Right?" _

_Ilse tried to hide the look of pain on her face. Instead, she just hugged him with everything she had. Moritz swore he heard her mumble something, but couldn't hear it, so he let it go. She gave Moritz one last look before she had to leave; a smile. Her Ilse smile that nobody could take away from her, the smile that Moritz missed the most. _

"_I promise you one day we will make up for the times I wasn't there," she was about to leave, but went up to Moritz and placed a soft kiss on his lips so quick that Moritz wasn't sure how to react. "Don't forget that...and don't forget me."_

_Moritz was still shocked from the kiss, but managed to nod. Ilse left, her feet taking her through the trees to her house._

Moritz kept running their last conversation over and over again in his mind. She talked as if she was leaving and never coming back. It confused Moritz, but it motivated to cheer her up.

As he dipped his toes in the water, he took something out of his inside pocket, where he made sure that it was never to get wet or damaged before he gave it to her. It was a necklace made by the artists in Priapia with a handmade charm on it. It was truly beautiful; the charm was modeled after a rare beautiful flower called the purple summer and looked almost exactly like the flower itself. He went to the cart of the artists from Priapia the day after, and the man that helped him before was there and helped him again, and even suggested the necklace. Moritz knew it was perfect for Ilse, even better than the sky blue stockings he had bought for her before. He was absolutely positive that it would bring her out of her slump and back to the Ilse everyone wanted.

He was just waiting for the right time to give it to her. It was Sunday, and that meant it would be two more days until he saw Ilse again. A few times, he waited outside the girls' school (sometimes with Melchior who probably waited for Wendla) for Ilse to come out, walk her home and give it to her, but he never did. Her mood never changed and she still seemed out of it and not like the Ilse he wanted back. Every time Moritz considered giving her the necklace without letting her know, Ilse would fall back into a depressed state, and Moritz always thought there would be a better time for him to give it to her.

He finally put his shoes and socks back on, stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants. He decided to go home, but to take the long way where he could pass Ilse's house. He wasn't sure if he should give it to her then, but thought it would be nice to see her again. When he walked by, he heard some sort of commotion going inside, but thought it was just Ilse's Mama starting to prepare dinner and making noise from the kitchen. By the time he got home, he was still thinking about her, and when to give to her.

Maybe he'll just wait until she smiles again.

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**I still love reviews! Feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated!**


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